Respect?

This poem is mandatory above the 365 other ones that I'm currently working on for personal reasons.

I must be a small mouse in this place,

Not the black cat that I am.

I'm mad,

Livid that you believed that I'd remain that naive sweet girl forever,

The one who you still treat like the gum under your shoe.

Go ahead and say I have no reason to be pissed at you,

Terrify me when I am grounded in my honesty and rage,

Call it pettiness because I am human too.

What did you think was going to happen to the little girl,

That she was going to be useful forever?

She's an empath you fool.

Everytime you manipulate her, she mirrors you, and you hate it when your plans have backfired because she uses your twists against you and sees how much you enjoy it.

She's not easy to abuse,

Easy to take for granted,

Easy to gaslight with insults as if she can't hear them.

She's not a king's jester.

Don't enlighten yourselves by testing her rage when she's serious.

Y'all consider this house safe,

But does she feel safe with the anxiety of the next abuse?

Mental and emotional is no excuse.

Force her to feel grateful,

Force her to feel lucky,

Force her to feel guilty.

Make her believe that she is disrespecting her entire family,

She'll abuse her physical health just to serve you,

But I think she's just realized that nobody cares.

Everyone can just take from her because they want to,

And let's just get frustrated at her,

Make her feel guilty when she doesn't fulfill our expectations,

Because she has found the invention called boundaries.

She is not a toy.

Let's keep scaring and manipulating her anyway because we want to and she doesn't get a say.

She gets to watch another person lose her job like she did,

But it's like nothing happened.

The schedule is not on the board,

The naive sweet girl still has to do both chores,

The other person expects everything from me because she wants to,

And I am the puppet with strings.

I have a knife too,

Very sharp it is and I can shape the string into a noose at will,

But I don't think I will with the future and strangers that give a care.

That choice seems very stupid, I don't think my funeral would be great either.

I was promised respect that I never got.

Everytime I did those dishes, my heart literally felt like it was going to die.

I did those chores when I was sick.

Everytime I have to go do shit I don't want to do in the middle of the night, I get a complaint from someone who pretends to sleep often or they just hate the disturbance, and I never complain when my sleep is interrupted. If I complain once, they would get upset like I do when they complain, but I apparently am not allowed to complain.

I've learned to live with headphones and I use them all the time, but apparently it's a nuisance if I voice chat with a friend, and I apparently can't ask people to turn their radio off or put on headphones because I'm annoying.

Can you tell me where's the consideration and empathy as this one person told me that I lacked empathy?

Don't tell me that I am dramatic.

Today, that person made a hissy fit whilst I was getting dressed to go get medicine.

I've heard don't bite the hand that feeds you, but y'all just bite anyway because you expect that you'll be fed anyway.

I'm sorry the abuse gave me a form of PTSD, so I just remember it like a slideshow and get mad at it again.

I'm not confident, I am just angry, and you think I have no right to be angry,

And when I can't speak it's because nothing of what I say is of great use,

And every reason I provide has a manipulative comeback,

And I'm tired of stubbornness.

I value the truth even when it hurts.

Please stop lying and please stop using me.